The Check List

Huh!

What? Call?

What time is it now? Perhaps, 2.30!

I reached out for my phone in the dark, saw my friends’ name flash and answered a groggy “Hello.”

“Mon, why do I always fall for a guy who has this accomplished and svelte ex-girlfriend?” sighed Aditi. “I get this feeling that I am being constantly compared with the past which has materialized as a well-rounded check list now!”

I instantly recognized the befuddlement in her voice and mumbled “Why? What has happened? And wait, who is this guy in context?”

Those were the only words I remember speaking for the entire call duration of 15 minutes. Probably I just dozed off midway.

So we decided to meet at our cozy coffee shop, 4 days later

“Shreyas is brilliant, Monica. Do you remember that I had mentioned about a new case I was assigned, last time we met?” asked a visibly excited Aditi.

After mentally recollecting when and where we had met previously, I replied, “Yes, I remember you mentioning that you were going to be pretty occupied for the next six months or so.”

“Yes, that’s when I first met him. And I feel in love with him the minute I heard his pitch in the conference room. All I could see was the halo behind his head, literally exuding confidence and potential and the blue shirt that he had worn. ”

As if coming out of a daze wherein I realized that she must have been replaying the whole conference room scene in head she continued, “Thank god, we all receive meeting minutes! Agreed, I haven’t had the chance to work with a lot of corporate lawyers yet, but he is by far the one of most talented ones I have met.  Something even my fussy boss would agree to!” Typical Aditi. And her melodramatic narration.

“That’s nice to hear, Aditi. You have an eye-candy at work to keep you going! Many of us do not have that luxury!”  That was me complaining, as usual. The IT industry is a pretty chilled out environment to work in but it does come with its own set of challenges and disadvantages. After a point of time you practically run out of the necessary impetus to report to work.

Across me, Aditi looked at me with her beady eyes and a sly smile. I knew this expression too well and it usually signifies that she had some news to break.  “Aditi, what’s new?” to which she coyly replied, “Ummm, actually Shreyas and I are dating from past 3 months. I thought I would mention about this when you meet him in person, but you were so busy this whole time!”

The waiter arrived at that exact moment announcing our order and thank all gods for that. Seeing all the food and the coffee on the table did give me ample time to get rid of the annoyance within me that came with Aditi’s last few words.

“Okay.  I was busy, so you are excused this one last time!” I replied crossly.

“Mon, you will love him! He is such a wonderful person.”

“Good. Then tell me Adi, what is bothering you? Your call the other night actually got me worried. And why are you bringing his ex – girlfriend into picture? Take it from me, discussing about past brings no good to anyone.”

“I know that. But I tell you, these ‘exes’ set the bar high, paint this ‘all –inclusive’ picture in other person’s head and then just walk out their lives as if nothing ever happened.  Earlier I dismissed it thinking that it is just the jealousy speaking, a sense of envy that this guy who I adore used to harbor feelings for someone else.”

“Hah! That is jealousy and I guess it is pretty normal. Just don’t let it bog you down. Try and have fun while with him, Aditi. You are just overthinking!”

“We actually have fun together, yes we do! But will you please listen?! I can explain my overthinking!”

“Fine, go on!” I said helping myself with my favorite cookies.

“As we got to talking, Shreyas opened up about his family, his career aspirations, his ex-girlfriend and his failed relationship with her. And believe me Mon when I say this, the way he spoke about her made me feel like the benchmark has already been set and I found myself feeling threatened by her sheer personality. And the fact that Shreyas was head over heels – knee deep in love with her did not do my morale any good either!”

Aditi’s face actually looked quite glum and  I had to choose my subsequent words carefully. Why exactly she had reached out to me for relationship advice was beyond my comprehension! I took a sip of my wonderfully delicious caramel coffee and set the cup down.

Exactly 10 seconds later I started speaking from my rote memory, “Listen. He was in love with her in a different era. Things did not work out between them for a reason. For all you know their relationship was purely hormone driven instead of emotions. Adi, I think you are being overly critical and unreasonably insecure with regards to his past. I would suggest you ask Shreyas whether he still has any latent feelings for her and if he plans to act on those feelings at all. If no, then you should get over this seemingly new obsession at once for good! And let me tell you this, there is no proper time to pop this question. It is going to be messy before and after”

I took a look at Aditi’s phone screen which she had pulled out while I was speaking, a Facebook profile that she wanted me to see.

“Whoa! Now we are stalking people on social networking sites?!” And I realized that my dear friend did have potentially solid reasons to worry.

I was at loss of words then. So was she.

The following half an hour was spent in solitude. Like old times. We were individually dealing with our demons too dark for public view.